My Boy

Our middle son Zeke has been having a rough go lately at school. He's been getting in trouble and has had a hard time checking the emotions. It seems as if the filter in his mind has been shut off. In addition to the 2 trips to the principle's office this has done some damage on his little 8 year old psyche. He knows that what he is doing isn't good and feels incredible remorse for his outbursts yet he can't help himself and thus he feels terrible.

I'm reminded of what the apostle Paul said in Rom. 7, I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I want to do. In reality not only does Zeke struggle with this - so do I! I can't count the times I've been stupid/siunful/angry/lustful/etc. And just like Zeke the remorse and self loathing at times gets the best of me.

As a parent it messes me up to see my boy walk under so much self condemnation and to see him get in trouble. I want with all my being to help him get free from the actions so that he can be free from the icky feelings. We are working hard to understand what is behind the behavior to eliminate it and are speaking profusely of grace, mercy, and forgiveness hoping to silence the lies of Satan. I literally have lost sleep - happily I might add - thinking how I can help him out. I want him to be free.

It seems to me this is the heart of Abba. He wants us to be free both from the goofy actions as well as the shame that follows. Maybe it would be good for us to do what Zeke has been experiencing lately - to sit in the lap of the Father and hear; His words of love and mercy that quickly over ride sin and shame, to hear His heart and longing for us to have victory and freedom, to hear Him say He loves us regardless of our performance, and to hear His assurance that we will get beyond this current struggle and all will be well.